Cataracts

 Uncovering Hidden Hostility and Emotional Suppression

You are beginning to see the hostility that was present in your childhood, which you may not have recognized before. Throughout your life, you have been protecting yourself from the painful truth of the lack of love and emotional support you experienced as a child. This same emotional absence may have reappeared in your marriage or other significant relationships. During childhood, you were led to believe that others always had your best interest at heart, but over time you’ve come to realize that many people had selfish motives. The awareness of this has likely caused you deep emotional anguish, leading to a pattern of emotional suppression.

This suppression often manifests as denial—a refusal to acknowledge the shaky foundation upon which much of your life was built. The words and promises of others have lost their meaning to you, feeling like empty vessels. As a result, you’ve tried to block out the controlling, offensive, and manipulative behaviors of people around you. Now, you long to step away from the drama and stress that seem to surround you.

Emotionally, mentally, and spiritually, you feel controlled by others. It’s as though life is something that happens to you, as if you are merely a passenger rather than in the driver’s seat. This overwhelming sense of being controlled, combined with a lack of personal agency, has caused you to withdraw from new situations or challenges. You are running out of ways to cope with your emotions and feel disconnected from your true self.

Fatigue, both mental and emotional, weighs heavily on you. You often find it exhausting to continually try and understand others' expectations or navigate their needs. At times, you struggle to relate to those around you, feeling as if your experience of life is fundamentally different from theirs. When confronted with new perspectives, changes, or challenges, you often want to retreat and hide. There may have been significant abuse or emotional harm during your childhood that you did not fully recognize at the time. However, recent events or unrelated traumas have triggered these old wounds, bringing past emotional pain to the surface.

Key Points for Deep Exploration:

• Trauma from Disappointment and Betrayal: Consider the people you trusted who have let you down. How did this betrayal make you feel? How does avoiding these truths and disappointments help protect you from emotional pain? Reflect on the ways in which denial has served as a form of emotional safety.

• Childhood Abuse: If there was any abusive behavior toward you during your childhood, how did this abuse make you feel? Explore the emotional impact this may have had on you, even if it was unrecognized at the time.

• Cataracts as a Metaphor: If you are dealing with cataracts, place your hand over the affected eye and imagine that the cataract could speak. What would it say? What has the eye seen that it no longer wants to witness or feel? What painful truths or emotions might you be avoiding?

• Judgment and Control by Authority Figures: If you were constantly judged, controlled, or suppressed by dominant individuals in your life, how did this make you feel? How has this influenced your self-expression, or led to a fear of being judged or controlled again?

• Feeling Unprotected: Who in your life failed to protect you during critical times? Reflect on how this lack of protection made you feel emotionally and physically. Explore any lingering feelings of vulnerability, betrayal, or resentment.

• Rapid Life Changes: If you’ve experienced significant changes that felt overwhelming or out of control, these may have triggered a desire to dissociate or escape from reality. What were these changes? How did they impact your sense of safety and stability?

• Feelings of Hopelessness: Do you ever feel like giving up? If so, what exactly are you giving up on, and why? Explore these feelings of despair in relation to different stages of your life, from the journey of conception, to birth, to your childhood experiences.

• Obstructed Vision and Emotional Truth: Consider why you might be blocking your ability to see your own truth. Is there a part of you that is afraid to face the reality of your life, relationships, or past? Explore this further to uncover deeper emotional truths.

By reflecting on these points, you may be able to uncover hidden aspects of your emotional world that have remained buried for years. Understanding and processing these feelings of suppression, denial, and trauma is essential to breaking free from the emotional patterns that have held you back. The journey to healing begins with recognizing the pain you’ve experienced, allowing yourself to feel it fully, and ultimately finding a way to release it, so you can regain control of your life and emotions.