Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCP)

Emotions

    Repetitive behaviors might have provided you with mental and emotional relief from the stress surrounding you and within. Engaging in these behaviors serves as a distraction from your current circumstances and emotions. When you feel unsafe, threatened, or out of control, you instinctively revert to actions or habits that once made you feel secure. This pattern has become a source of comfort during stressful times, offering a sense of survival during moments of trauma. The idea of letting go of this habit may be frightening because it symbolizes your ability to cope and survive in challenging situations.

    You may be stuck in a perpetual state of flight, constantly feeling the need to be on the move or remain busy, either mentally or physically, to escape your thoughts and emotions. This could be your body’s way of attempting to complete a flight response that was triggered but never resolved. Often, this is linked to ancestral trauma, raising questions like, “What did the ancestor fail to escape from? What mistake led to the loss of others?”

    Your childhood may have been marked by unpredictable mood swings, abuse, and verbal attacks, leaving you clinging to old traumas as a result of being subjected to erratic behaviors. This unpredictability made you paranoid, fearful, and constantly anxious, never knowing what might happen next.

    Perhaps you posed a threat to your family, possibly triggering jealousy, leading to punishment, abuse, rejection, or abandonment. You might have borne the consequences of your parents’ mistakes, as their stress was unfairly directed at you. Even if you weren't the direct target, you were deeply affected by their interactions, causing immense stress as you lived in fear of your foundation (your parents) falling apart. Being lied to repeatedly has made it difficult for you to trust others.

    You may be overcompensating for the lack of control you've experienced in life, masking and numbing suppressed ancestral trauma that has resurfaced. As the scapegoat in the family, you often took on responsibilities that weren't yours, feeling an urgent need to fix things in an effort to maintain peace.

    You may hide behind laughter, using it to mask your deep-seated pain. A lack of stability during your childhood has left you feeling overwhelmed, as if you can’t manage anything. To survive verbal or physical blows, you might have hardened yourself, a response also tied to ancestral trauma. In some ways, you may be expressing your parents’ unspoken pain, stress, tension, or trauma that originated from conflict during your conception.

Key Points : 

• Examine birth-related trauma: Numerous emotions may have been triggered during this period. Refer to the Birth section for more details.
• Inner peace disruption: Your inner peace may be disturbed, activating the survival instinct and potentially leading to anxiety. The mind may be attempting to process unresolved ancestral trauma that doesn’t resonate well, causing additional stress and trauma. Reflect on when obsessive-compulsive tendencies began. What events contributed to this? What were the circumstances like? Consider exploring these traumas.
• Loss of control and disempowerment: Reflect on situations where you felt out of control or powerless due to the influence of others. How did this lack of control make you feel? Consider whether you compensate for childhood experiences of powerlessness by being overly controlling in adulthood. Is this expression of control truly yours, or does it stem from old traumas?
• Fear of loss: Do you have a fear of losing someone or something? Alternatively, reflect on what you may have already lost. Explore this fear as necessary.
• Insecurity: Insecurity may be rooted in experiences of abandonment, rejection, or punishment. If you lacked love or felt unsafe, it could be due to abandonment, rejection, or punishment.
• Distrust in your own judgment: Reflect on experiences that caused you to lose trust in your judgment. What was associated with this loss of trust?
• Discomfort with being yourself: You may avoid being yourself due to past punishment or abuse tied to self-expression. This may stem from trying to avoid repeating past situations where you felt punished.
• Parental responsibility: Consider whether your parents were responsible for a significant loss, such as the death of someone or a major hardship. If so, did this event impact you emotionally? Explore this further if relevant.
• Emotional absence: Your need for love and attention may have been met with emotional absence, where important people were unavailable or ignored your needs. Reflect on how this affected you.
• Childhood stress: Who did you have a difficult relationship with during childhood? What caused you the most distress? How did it make you feel?
• Emotional triggers: Think about someone who has been a source of stress for you. How do they make you feel now?
• Physical restraint: Imagine feeling an urge to do something but being physically unable to act on it. How does that make you feel?
• Mother's anxiety during pregnancy: You may have sensed your mother’s anxiety while in the womb, which could have been due to her attempts to calm your movements. This might have made you feel uncomfortable or interfered with your natural movement, possibly leading to feelings of frustration or being controlled. Reflect on these early fetal experiences and their impact on your emotions.
• Connection with your mother’s emotions: Consider the similarities between your emotions and habits and those of your mother. Patterns from your mother's emotional state during pregnancy could have shaped your own patterns of anxiety, self-esteem, and personal strength.